Top 5 Thanksgiving Movies

Top 5 Thanksgiving Movies Ever

No question that I am a huge movie fan. Almost as much as I am of running my life by Top 5 lists. So it only stands to reason that I have a Top 5 all-time best Thanksgiving movies list. I am frequently asked, “Are there any Thanksgiving movies?” The answer to that questions is, yes and I’m not talking about the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving cartoon thing, though that is an outstanding piece of material, no question.

While the catalog of Thanksgiving movies is small, there are some real gems out there that I simply cannot start my holiday season without watching.

Thanksgiving Movies

Hannah and Her Sisters

Grumpy Old Men

Nobody’s Fool

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Uncle Buck

Hannah and Her Sisters

I must warn you here that this is a Woody Allen movie. Some people didn’t like Woody Allen movies even before he started banging his daughter and I’m sure this little PR move didn’t help any but this is still a great film. I have been a Woody Allen fan since I was a kid as thought it would make me seem more adult if I dug his high-brow brand of humor but now that he is freely molesting his kids, it getting harder and harder, no pun intended, to be a fan. The movie starts on Thanksgiving and revolves around some people then it ends on Thanksgiving the following year. Sorry if you don’t care for my description. I’m just trying to tell you what movies to watch. I’m not fucking Siskel and Ebert here. Trust me, it’s good.

Grumpy Old Men

Pretty sure this movie would be on my Top 10 funniest movies ever if I dealt in such things as Top ten’s. Walter Mattheau and Jack Lemmon have been tops on my list of funniest duos since The Odd Couple came out in 1968. I was three then so I had to wait a few years to appreciate them.

I’m a movie crier. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m not going to start bawling unless it’s really sad though, I’m not a total douche, but when Jack Lemmon has a heart-attack and the nurse asks the visiting Walter Mattheau if he’s friend or family and he chokes up and says “friend,” I almost lose it. To me, a good movie makes you emote. So what if my kids are horrified by my display in the theater and move away from me.

Nobody’s Fool

Possibly the best movie you’ve never heard of and Paul Newman is in it and that should be enough right there but if you need more, Newman plays an old acerbic asshole, Skully, who has ruined every relationship he’s ever had but finds a way to re-connect with his son. And if that’s still not enough to sell you on it, then there is the topless shot of Melanie Griffith that might lure you in. Like a younger Melanie Griffith. Not like she is today, all old and messed up with her wrinkled skin drying up dying around her fake tits.

Nudity and Thanksgiving go together like peanut butter and jelly. Really nudity and anything go together but not so much with that naked housecleaning thing. Watching somebody clean the filth from my toilet and emptying my garbage is not hot.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Steve Martin plays a tight assed, prissy executive, Neal Paige, on his way home for Thanksgiving but gets stuck traveling with John Candy’s ultra-annoying Del Griffith character. Surely most of you have seen this but there is an exchange where Neal goes ballistic when he accidentally washes his face with water used to soak Del’s dirty socks that is priceless and I have memorized and use as frequently as possible:

Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You’re a miracle! Your stories have none of that. You’re not even amusing accidentally! “Honey, I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some amusing anecdotes for you. Oh, and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out. You’ll thank me for it.” I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They’d say, “How can you stand it?” I’d say, “Cause I’ve been with Del Griffith. I can take anything!” You know what they’d say? They’d say, “I know what you mean. The shower curtain guy. Whoa.” It’s like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except, I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back – you would. Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! And by the way, you know, when you’re telling these little stories? Here’s a good idea – have a point! It makes it so much more interesting to the listener!

“Train don’t run outta Wichita, unlessin’ you’re a hog. People train runs outta Stubbville.”

Uncle Buck

I don’t even know if this is a Thanksgiving movie or not as there is no mention ever made of any holiday but the movie is set in the winter so I have adopted it as the first movie I watch every holiday season. Nothing else hits the DVD player until this classic has. Plus this was the primer to Macaulay Culkin’s brilliant performance in as Kevin in Home Alone, a Top 5 Christmas movie which we will get to next month.

One of the signs of a good movie, to me, is the number of usable quotes that I can utilize in my own life and this movie is full of them. Not a day goes by when I don’t tell somebody, “Get in your mouse and get the hell out of here.”

There you have it. The Top 5 Thanksgiving movies of all time. There is no need to deviate from this list as I have potentially watched every last holiday movie ever made and in order to save you countless hours of horror have narrowed it down to this. You’re welcome.

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